This weekend, I learned to make my Grandma Anne’s legendary matzo ball soup. After hanging up with my aunt (“use loooots of dill”), I got to work prepping for Soup Fest—my friend’s annual gathering where 40+ people bring soups, sample and vote on their favorites, and winners walk away with glory and embossed spoons.

I almost didn’t go. Work and life have been full, and a solo night—a yoga class, a luxurious bath, finally catching up on Severance (holy shit, that finale!)—felt like the right self-care move.

But I’m so glad I went.

Slurping soup in a backyard full of people I’ve known since I was a teenager—plus the “Soup Fest Creatures” I only see once a year—turned out to be exactly the reset and energy boost I needed.

This got me thinking: What if self-care isn’t just about the self?

Yes, tending to yourself is classic self-care

Honestly, I breathe a sigh of relief every time Queer Eye’s JVN sashays into my life to remind me that “self-care isn’t selfish.”

For those of us raised with people-pleasing, perfectionist tendencies, it’s a much-needed reminder to tune in to our own needs and wants—versus everyone else’s.

Nature walks, journaling, deep breaths—these are important, potent tools.

But a purely savasana-and-bubble-bath version of self-care misses the mark.

Community is a key part of self-care

Soup Fest was a powerful reminder of the power of community—but don’t just take it from me.

Our former Surgeon General literally prescribed community to America, calling loneliness a public health crisis. I also loved this podcast that highlights how the Wellness Industrial Complex misses the mark on connecting with, and lifting up, others.

I also tossed my 96 clients’ values (including my own—scroll down) into ChatGPT to spot trends about what’s most important to them. Almost everyone—even the self-proclaimed introverts—had at least one core value related to community:

💎 Collaboration, Connection, Teamwork, Relationships, Fun…

Positively impacting others is also a key part of self-care

Looking deeper into the values, another pattern emerged:

💎 Impact, Mission, Purpose, Service, Helping, Usefulness…

Contributing to something bigger than ourselves is energizing. It’s part of why we feel alive when we’re engaging in meaningful work or even just offering support to someone we care about.

It turns out, self-care isn’t just about what you take in. It’s about what you give back.

Self-care is key to designing a career you love

So if you’re feeling stuck or trapped in your career, start with self-care. I know it’s tempting to burn it all down (or book an expensive retreat), but small, regular actions can result in huge positive payoffs. Ask:

🤝 What do you want and need right now?
🤝 Who can you have a meaningful connection with?
🤝 How can you brighten someone's day?

I’d love to hear how it goes! And if you’re still feeling blocked in your career—and stressed and overwhelmed about how to move forward—let’s chat. Here’s a link to snag some time.

Onward!
Grace

P.S. I had a blast on the Destination Dream Job podcast, where we tackled the big career question: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” If you're wondering how (and why) to make your current situation more sustainable—including through self-care—jump to 11:35!